Tho this cowboy's life is a livin' rage,
and his lovely wife he lives to please.
There lurks inside of him a little boy,
Who dearly loves to tease.
Now on a recent trip to town, . . .
the logic of his purchase, I really couldn't tell.
But you could see the devil in his eyes,
when he found this Servants Bell.
Now a Servants Bell is what rich folks use,
when calling their servants to fill their every need.
Why they're suppose to fetch and carry,
or even groom the masters steed.
Well this cowboy bought that tinklin' bell,
and headed for the ranch.
And pondered on the benefits,
if this bell should work perchance.
Now his wife she is a pleasant gal,
and she doesn't mind his tease.
Ya see she loves her scruffy cowboy,
and does her best to please.
Well, . . . The details of this story, . . .
I really don't think I want to tell.
"Cause things didn't work quite out the way they were suppose to,
when he rang his little bell.
But there is one thing that I can tell you,
and that is that we hope that someday doctors may find some cures.
To explain why he jingles when he walks,
'cause he does it without spurs!
How long did it take you to grow that moustache?
What do you put on it to keep it in place?
Does it stand out on it's own when you greet the dawn,
or does it hang down in utter disgrace?
Seems I'm always plagued by these questions,
can I touch it, and is it for real?
Is it greasy or slippery perhaps?
How does it stand out like it's made of steel?
Well I answer these questions politely,
I been sport'n this growth thirty years.
I grew it back when, . . . I guess I was ten,
an' to part with it might bring me to tears.
I've never put anything on it,
such a sin might cause me to fall.
It stands out so fine cause whenever I dine,
I don't use a napkin at all.
Amidst all this hair there's biscuits n' gravy in there,
an' some juice from old rabbit stew.
There's of course bacon grease when I cooked me some geese,
and' something weird I ate colored blue.
Oh I use to keep it much longer,
why it once stuck clear out to here.
But while running my horse into the winds mighty force,
it got to snappin' and near took off my ear.
Why you'll be forced to give up romance,
'n kisses you can forget about those.
'Cause it's hard for a lady to kiss you,
with your moustache stuck in her nose.
It can sometimes be quite a bother,
like when shoeing some high spirited mare.
When it's all you can do just to tack on a shoe,
then you tickle her with that long moustache hair.
Why does a cowboy grow such a moustache?
Is being different how he gets by?
You can't even dance close with the one you love most,
without poking her right in the eye.
So why do we sport such a nuisance?
Well the answer is worth more than cash.
Its all worth it that day when someone walks up to say, . . . . . . .
HEY THERE, . . . I SURE LIKE YOUR TASH!"
Arizona Artie was a fast man on the draw,
because of his profession,
he was always wanted by the law.
Artie would sell his fast gun,
to the one that paid the most.
When the dust had settled and the smoke had cleared,
his quarry was a ghost!
His shots were oh so accurate,
right between the eyes.
That's how you knew that Artie did it,
you could hear his accusers cries.
But he would have to change his style though,
'cause he really was no dope.
And he knew that fate would find him,
on the short end of a rope.
So Artie laid to rest his six gun,
and the word spread throughout the land.
But what he didn't say, was that now,
he would strangle with his hands.
Well Artie had no fears now,
'cause he figured that he would never get the blame.
And it don't matter just how you kill 'em,
'cause they're all dead just the same.
So Artie took a job for a rancher,
who wished to rid himself of some pests.
That just happened to be three sheepmen,
who he wished to have laid to rest.
But without his reputation,
his fees had become much smaller.
And all this ol' rancher would pay for this job,
was one lonely single dollar.
So in the night he snuck out,
and he choked them in their sleep.
Then he bravely faced the morning sun,
his new method was now complete.
Now I'm not sure how they found out, . . .
and it's enough to make you hollar.
But when the newspapers hit the street,
There it was, . . .
"Artie chokes three for a dollar!"
Having spent most of his life with livestock, he always seemed to be found either on top of, or under a horse. He has always enjoyed the sharing of old tales, poems, and songs of cowboy life. While buckarooing in South Western, Idaho, he began to correspond with Dick Spencer, publisher of The Western Horseman Magazine.The Western Horseman reviewed his first book of poetry "TRADING HORSES WITH RUDY AND ROSE." Almost immediately this review started a stampede of requests for him to appear and entertain, with his cowboy poetry & songs.
With well over 100,000 cowboy poets in the world today, Rudy says, . . .
"I'm truly blessed to be one of only a few to make a full time living
entertaining with my cowboy poetry and cowboy music shows."
He now travels over
the entire U.S. and Canada entertaining at conventions,
rodeo's, banquets, some special select gatherings, and other special events.
Rudy also produces radio and television commercials in cowboy verse. He has
appeared on many national T.V. programs.
Rudy was chosen of all of the cowboy poets in the nation to entertain at
the World Forum. There he represented the American cowboy to this
International Delegation. Where he entertained former U.S. President Gerald
Ford, former Vice President Dan Quayle. There were 250 International
Diplomats, and over 500 C.E.O.'s at this event.
In addition to running a horse ranch in Idaho, Rudy is the Founder and Director of the Original Idaho State Cowboy Poetry Gathering. The Idaho Cowboy Poetry Gathering will be celebrating it's 12th BIG YEAR April April 8-9-10- 11- of 1999.
Stop by and visit at the Home Ranch
Stop by and visit the Idaho Cowboy Poetry Gathering
Also a NEW addition of the Cowboy Poets Society
Or contact Rudy at:
Phone (208) 888-9838
FAX (208) 888-2986
Cell (208) 890-6869